Happy Birthday Juliette!!!

This was taken a few days ago, but it is probably one of my favorite pictures of you - what a perfectly perfect face!

You and your balloons - you LOVE them!

Happy birthday precious girl! You are one year old today! It has been an amazing year - full of joy, laughter, excitement, awe, questions, worries, snuggles, and LOVE! I just can't believe that one year ago today....

I was laying in a hospital bed hooked up to monitors and an IV, fresh out of surgery, fresh into motherhood. At this very moment, Daddy was probably catching a quick nap in the couch next to my bed. You were probably in my arms, as you were for the majority of the time we were in the hospital. I can't say exactly what you were doing - crying, sleeping, nursing, just being perfect little you. I do know how I was feeling. I was in awe, in love, enamored, bewitched. Happier than I'd ever been in my entire life, and probably more terrified too. The moment I saw you, heard your cry, I was taken over by a love so fierce and so intense that it was almost too big of a feeling to feel. You were finally here, the daughter I'd always dreamed of, the moving little creature I'd poked, nourished, and sung to for nine months. Those first few days were surreal. In fact, there have been several moments over the last year that have felt surreal. It's strange sometimes to look at you and know that while you are such a part of me, that you are made from me, you are also separate from me. You're a person - a person that is here because Daddy and I wanted you, and made you so. What a brilliant decision that was. You are everything a human being should be - smart, funny, sweet, clever, stunningly gorgeous, and a true individual already! I am proud of the person you are and the person you are becoming. I love you with the whole of my heart, my soul, my being.

Probably right at this moment, one year ago today.... xoxoxo

Today we had a small little family party for you. We gave you mommy and daddy presents, and Mimi, Grandaddy, Grandma, and Auntie Beth also brought you some small gifts (they're saving the other ones for your BIG party on Saturday!) We gave you My Pal Violet who says your name and sings songs and teaches you all kinds of stuff. We also gave you a little piano/storybook toy, some shirts, a pink Gator jersey, and some bath toys. You also got blocks, a bath toy, a puzzle, and some money! Oh and we went to Build-A-Bear and made a birthday bear for you - that was fun!

You did a good job of ripping the paper open!

Like we expected, you were most fascinated by the ribbons and paper!

I love your "concentrating" face!

Pulling Violet out of her bag...

Staring contest with Violet - you weren't too sure about her yet...

I made some vanilla cupcakes with chocolate icing for you - and oh, did you love it! Well, the icing anyway.... :)

Clapping and saying "Yay!" - There was chocolate in your hair, on the back of your neck... :)

On Saturday we are having your big party at Mimi's house. You are going to be the center of attention! I've ordered a bigger cake for you to smash up (you had a trial run tonight, haha!) and lots of our friends will be there. I can't wait! :)

Ok, so I guess I'd better explain that boo-boo on your face..... *sigh* I think mommy and daddy will beat ourselves up for many years to come because of what happened to you. We went to the Gator homecoming parade last Friday and forgot sunscreen. Yes. Forgot it. :( Daddy tried to be resourceful and put a spare pair of pants on your head, but you still got pretty burned on the left side of your face. We felt so bad, but weren't too concerned as you didn't really seem to be bothered by it. We put aloe on it and figured it would peel and fade in a couple of days. Wrong! By Sunday you had a big blister. By Monday it was a yellow-ish wound and I flipped out! I was in tears that morning and decided to swallow my pride and call the doctor. Of course, they were much more calm and chill than I was and simply called in a prescription ointment to put on it. By Tuesday it was a big, red, crusty sore. Finally, over the last two days, it has begun to dry up and flake off. I have never felt so guilty in all my life! We've lived in Florida our whole lives and should have known better!

You and your boyfriend, Aiden (who is much tanner than you are...)

Here you are in your "hat".

You had fun anyway!

Palest (but happiest) family ever!

Well my love, if you are reading this far into the future, I am confident that you will have a healthy relationship with sunblock and a thorough education on the dangers of the sun! I am going to be the sunblock QUEEN! Your perfect alabaster skin will never burn again under our watch...we may make mistakes from time to time, but never the same mistake twice!

I love you, my big girl!!! I am so proud to be your mommy and can't wait to see what exciting things year two has in store!!

Love this outfit!

xoxo,
Mommy

Teeth and parties!!

Well, I am finally going to have to say goodbye to that gummy little smile of yours.....

Teeth have emerged!! Two little sharp white teeth are just poking up from your bottom gums! Today you are 11 months and 12 days old - I wondered if you'd ever get any. Everyone who stops us out in public to compliment you or gush over you - in the grocery store, at the mall, everywhere! - they all see your drooly little chin and your fingers in your mouth and say "Oh, she must be teething!". Then we patiently explain how you've been "teething" since your were 3 months old - ha! People keep telling me that the longer it takes for teeth to come in, the better off you'll be. Not sure how reliable that is, but I'll take it! Plus, I have to say I really love your cute gummy smile - it makes you look very baby-like which makes mommy happy. You are growing up waaaaay too fast! So anyway, I wasn't really stressing about your teeth not being here yet. Now that they're here though, I am so excited! It's a big milestone, and it is really going to change how you look. My big girl. How I love you!

I tried really hard to take a picture of your new teeth, but you absolutely do NOT like having your mouth messed with....so this is the best I could get. See how mad you are?? Sorry!! :(


We also finally got a walker for you. Grandma has had one and says you do really well with it, so we decided it was time to get one for you too! We got it at Wal-Mart, and you LOVE it! It has really cool music on it which you like to dance to. So flipping cute! You are a pro at pulling up on it and walking, but still haven't gotten the steering part down. :)

Running into the wall.....

So since my last post, you have grown and changed so much! Your hair is coming in longer and thicker every day - it's very light and wispy, and oh so soft. When I ask you where mommy's hair is, you pat my hair/head, and then I ask where your hair is, and you rub the back of your head and make this cute little "eeehhhheeeehhh" sound. I love it! You are also learning where your nose and toes are. You are really smart, and you pick up on stuff super fast. You know who each family member is, you know the animals, you know bottle, yogurt, puffs, TV, cheadle, picture, and of course the fan. You wave really well now, and can blow kisses and give squeezes! Those are my favorites (obviously). You have a pillow that I bought for you in the shape of an owl. It's pink and is probably supposed to be a girl owl, but we named it Mr. Hoot Hoot. You seem to really love Mr. Hoot Hoot and will go get him and hug and kiss him.


You've always loved the book "Hippos Go Berserk", so of course daddy and I now have it memorized. Sometimes we'll just start reciting it without the book in front of us, and you'll stop whatever you're doing and just stare at us - like you're trying to figure out why what we're saying sounds so familiar. :) It's so much fun being your mommy and daddy!

I've been very busy planning your 1st birthday party! It's going to be birdie themed - "Sweet Tweet" - and so much fun! I'm planning to make the cake myself, plus a special little one just for you. I highly doubt you'll make much of a mess or eat a whole lot of it (you are still not all that in to solid food yet), but it will be fun anyway. Now if I could make a cake out of pickles, that might get you excited....

I'm also busy getting ready for Auntie Beth and Uncle JJ's baby shower. It's going to be on December 3rd (which is not so far away) in the same place she had our baby shower. Wilmot Gardens on the UF campus. It's a beautiful little building with gardens all around. I'm planning to buy a brick with your name on it to go in the garden in the Alumni section. Then you will have it there to go and see someday when you're all grown up - maybe you'll even go to college there too!

The baby shower is going to be butterfly and garden themed. I ordered the invitations yesterday and they are so pretty! I still have a lot to do though. I want to make this a stellar party for Beth and Justin. They both really deserve it. :) Oh, and I got to feel your cousin Charlotte kick for the first time the other day!!!! It was amazing! I cannot wait to meet her, and I can't wait to see your reaction to her too!

Here's Charlotte in Auntie Beth's tummy! Less than 4 months to go....

One last thing - we got a new camera, and it's a really good one! Below are some pictures that I think turned out AMAZING. I only wish we had been able to get it sooner....

Swinging at the park - I love your expression!

You like to drink the shower water. :)

I love the way you can see each little droplet of water...

I love you more and more every day my wondrous little girl. You surprise and enchant me on a daily (hourly) basis. I am the luckiest mommy in the history of mommies. :)

Lately these are the songs/poems that I have been singing/reciting to you. You seem to get really relaxed when you hear them....

Wynken, Blynken, and Nod (my Grandpa always sang this to me when I was little...)

"Wynken, Blynken, and Nod one night
Sailed off in a wooden shoe---
Sailed on a river of crystal light,
Into a sea of dew.
"Where are you going, and what do you wish?"
The old moon asked the three.
"We have come to fish for the herring fish
That live in this beautiful sea;
Nets of silver and gold have we!"
Said Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

The old moon laughed and sang a song,
As they rocked in the wooden shoe,
And the wind that sped them all night long
Ruffled the waves of dew.
The little stars were the herring fish
That lived in that beautiful sea---
"Now cast your nets wherever you wish---
Never afeard are we";
So cried the stars to the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

All night long their nets they threw
To the stars in the twinkling foam---
Then down from the skies came the wooden shoe,
Bringing the fishermen home;
'T was all so pretty a sail it seemed
As if it could not be,
And some folks thought 't was a dream they 'd dreamed
Of sailing that beautiful sea---
But I shall name you the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod.

Wynken and Blynken are two little eyes,
And Nod is a little head,
And the wooden shoe that sailed the skies
Is a wee one's trundle-bed.
So shut your eyes while mother sings
Of wonderful sights that be,
And you shall see the beautiful things
As you rock in the misty sea,
Where the old shoe rocked the fishermen three:
Wynken,
Blynken,
And Nod."

And...

The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

I love you, my sweet daughter.

xoxo,

Mommy

Crawling and sneezing and cousins...oh my!

You love this toy - when you spin the red wheel, it plays music and you love to rock forward and back to it. Plus, you've learned how to make the music play all by yourself - smarty pants!

Hello my beautiful ray of sunshine! It has definitely been too long since I last wrote - but I've just been so busy and preoccupied these days. Some of it boring grown-up stuff, but mostly just busy trying to keep up with you!

You reached some major milestones last week - the most impressive of which is you are crawling! Everywhere, and fast! On the Sunday before Labor day, we all went over to Chandra and Aiden's house to eat dinner and hang out. While we were there, you all of a sudden decided you could belly crawl (maybe you were trying to keep up with Aiden?). I caught a video of it on my phone - we were sooooo proud!! Well, that wasn't the end of it. About two days later I noticed you were occasionally going a few "steps" on your hands and knees, then you'd plop back down onto your belly and scoot along. I guess then something clicked in your sweet little head because by the very next day (Wednesday, September 7th) you were crawling like a champ! All over the place! So guess what mommy and daddy did this past weekend? BABYPROOFED! :) Yep, we got that gate up just in time. Sockets all covered up and all clutter gone! And an unexpected result of all this new found mobility? I am an obsessive vacuum-er now! Never thought I'd see the day....

See? Here you sit on a freshly vacuumed floor!

Okay, so that was a great milestone, but you also met a not so great one. Your very first cold. :( Yes, we tried sooooo hard to keep you from catching it, but Aunt Beth had it, then Uncle J, then Daddy, then Mommy, then you, then Grandma. I think it was unavoidable, and only a matter of time. Luckily you only had some sneezes and sniffles that lasted about two days, but it was still two days too long. You were so pitiful and it just about broke our hearts to see you like that. You were a sport though, and were back on the go in full force in no time. I know there are many more colds, sick tummies, scrapes and bumps to come in the future, and I'll just tell you now that I would take each and every one of them for you if I could! We will do our very best to protect you, our most precious and cherished girl, but these are the experiences that will come as you explore the world - and we so want you to explore it! :)

Here's a quick list of other things you can do: crawl (of course); pull up to standing and cruise along any surface you can get to; play pat-a-cake on command, or we can just say "clap", or you'll just mimic us clapping; we'll say "How big is the baby? Soooo big!" and you stretch your arms way out; wave bye-bye or hi (with the classic backwards wave - I love it!); you know what these words mean: "fan", "picture", "mommy" and "daddy", "Eddie, Dylan, doggy", "bottle", "kiss mommy", "can I have some?"; you can blow raspberries; and it reeeeallly sounds like you can say "hi", "hi daddy", or "hi Eddie"- still not sure if you're really saying it or not, but it sure sounds cute! Oh and you are completely obsessed with balloons. You point and start babbling very loudly and excitedly, it's so funny! You definitely know the word "balloon" and we almost always get you one when we go to Publix, otherwise you just about throw a fit! Haha! You are excruciatingly cute and endlessly entertaining...life is just so much fun with you around!

Here you are "cruising" and trying to get your hands on any and everything!

And the last (but biggest and BEST) news is......you are going to have a little cousin!!!! A girl cousin! Auntie Beth is pregnant and just found out that it's 85% likely to be a little girl! Of course, we've all known for a while now about her baby, but I didn't want to write about it too soon. I wanted to make sure she had announced it to everyone first before I did, but now we can shout it out. I am so happy for her and Uncle J!! And for you too, because you'll get to grow up with her - she'll be just as close to you as if she were your sister. The baby will be called Charlotte Patricia and is due to arrive around February 12th (or a week or so afterward if she takes after the girls in our family, haha!). Auntie Beth's tummy is growing bigger and bigger as little Charlotte grows, and she looks beautiful and healthy and happy! I am starting the planning for her baby shower which we'll have in early December. It's gonna be a great party and I can't wait!

I'm also starting to plan another splendid party for a sweet little girl who'll be turning one year old soon..... :) I can't believe it's already been almost a year since you came into my life and made the world infinitely more beautiful. I have loved every single solitary second of you, my darling Juliette. Every. Single. Second.

xoxo,

Mommy

P.S. We got a new car a couple of weeks ago, a 2010 black Mazda CX7 - I love it! It's a small SUV that is roomy enough for all my work stuff and your stuff, but still sporty and cute and fun to drive! :) We had to say goodbye to the Saturn. It was 11 years old and had been a good little car, but was time to be retired. I was a little sad because it was my first brand new car and my Grampa (Mimi's dad) helped me to get it when I was still in school and had no money. He was so sweet to help me out like that, and letting the Saturn go just reminded me of how much he did for me and how much I miss him. Someday when you're bigger, I'll tell you all about him and Grammy (Mimi's mom) and my dad too. They were all wonderful people who would have just loved and loved and loved you! Goodnight Julibean, I love you!

Madison Paige Staats

Today I am going to write about a beautiful little girl named Maddie. She was born healthy and perfect to two of the luckiest parents in the world. Her mom, Kellie, loves big colorful bows, and Maddie was her most gorgeous model. The oversize bows were often as big as (or bigger than) Maddie's head -- and she looked so adorable! -- but her personality was even bigger! Kellie writes so lovingly and adoringly about her daughter, beautifully describing Maddie's budding precociousness, commenting and marveling on the tiniest details and quirks that only a mommy or daddy might notice. James, Maddie's dad, has a blog too, and his heart clearly belongs to both his girls. He writes thoughtfully and honestly about how Maddie has changed his life, and how very much he loves and misses her.


Suddenly and unexpectedly, Maddie was taken from this earth when she was just a little over four months old, and her parents have been left to wonder why, and to count the minutes until they will get to hold their baby girl again. Kellie has chronicled her painful journey on her blog www.kandjstaats.blogspot.com and I have been a faithful reader. I found her blog through one of the many forums I'm a member of - her Maddie was born less than one month before my Juliette. I don't know Kellie or James, but I am a parent, so I know them.


Kellie asked that today, on her birthday, we bloggers do a post for Maddie. I feel honored that she would ask a bunch of strangers to write about her most precious accomplishment. I cannot find enough words to say how much I love a little girl that I never knew, how much I admire and respect a woman I will never meet. Maddie, through Kellie, has touched my life profoundly. As anyone who knows me knows, I have never been one to take anyone for granted. I am a worrier by nature, and have always been fearful of the worst case scenario. But Kellie has taught me that you can never prepare for a living nightmare, no matter what. Maddie and Kellie have helped me to see that I'm better served to just put my fear aside and focus that energy on loving my daughter -- relishing every blessed moment, being joyful at her joy, laughing with her laughter, taking in every single detail, and snapping tons and tons of pictures....and knowing (accepting) that I can only control so much.

Kellie is spreading the word about SIDS - awareness, education, prevention. I already knew quite a lot about it, but she has taught me things I did not know, directed me to websites I was not aware of. For that, I will always be so grateful.

Maddie is a beautiful light that I feel in my life on a daily basis. I feel lucky to have found Kellie and James' blogs; lucky to get to "know" them; and luckier still to get to know Maddie.

Kellie, Maddie will live on in the hearts of thousands of people. She's made more of a difference and touched more lives than most people ever do. She will NEVER be forgotten. Thank you for sharing her with us.

I hope that you and James are able to celebrate your birthday with smiles today.

xoxo,

Jennifer

I am the poster child for worrying and for thankfulness

I'm feeling sad tonight, not for any one particular reason, just in general. I think I've just had this dark cloud hovering over me for a while now, and I wish it would just move on. Sure, there are plenty of specific things that could be bothering me at any given moment, but for now I just feel a general blue color. Not the amazing blue that is Juliette's eyes, not the blue that is the gorgeous Florida sky, not the deep mysterious thrilling blue of the ocean, not the clear light soft blue of my father's eyes...in fact, I don't even know why being sad is equated with being blue since blue is such a lovely color. What's a color I don't really like? Orange? Puce green? Taupe? That's it - I feel taupe. That fits so much better.

Tonight I was watching the weirdest movie, very strange, about this 15 year old girl who gets murdered by her crazy ex-babysitter. The babysitter strangled her and then hung around with the girl's dead body for a few days before she buried her. The parents were frantically trying to find their daughter, and the way the actors displayed grief was all too realistic. It was gut- and heart-wrenching to watch and I wish I would have just turned it off. :( It made my taupe cloud hover a little more heavily.

Plus, several of the mamas who write the blogs I follow have been having an extra hard time lately. My heart just breaks over and over again for them. Why, oh why do these horrible things happen? Why do some (most) people get happy endings while others get horror stories? Who chooses who suffers? I guess it's all random, but somehow that feels so disrespectful (not to mention depressing) to think that way. Like, we want to believe that our heartaches, our losses, our suffering, our pain - that it all has some kind of meaning, or purpose. Right? Wouldn't people just go kind of crazy otherwise?

And with all these scary, sad thoughts rattling around in my head (pretty much all the time), how in the hell am I supposed to relax and enjoy my own happiness? How can I help but become more and more fearful when I fall more and more in love with my incredible daughter with every passing moment? I know it's irrational to think (believe!) that if I can just anticipate, or predict, or prepare for every single awful scenario, then it just could NEVER happen to my family. Like it would be impossibly ironic if it did, you know? I know that's stupid. Yet, it's how I live. And maybe I need help, or maybe I'm just like any other mama, or maybe I'm just a little south of normal, it doesn't really matter because it is what it is. I will worry and fret and wonder and be just a little panicky for the rest of my life. My baby is perfect. She's perfectly perfect, and nothing in my life has ever been that perfect- so how can this be?

I will never have an answer for that question. I don't really want an answer either. I just want to soak her up, enjoy every second, every smile, every laugh, every nap in my arms, every clap, raspberry, sneeze, wave, and babble - and never lose a single memory of this wondrous time with my baby girl. I want to love her without fear, without longing for her as if she isn't right here with me! Oh, what is wrong with my mind? I'm just so damn scared all. the. time.

And now after re-reading what I've written, I feel like such a fool. I am lucky. My daughter is sleeping peacefully and healthy in the next room. She is whole. She has a million miles to go, a billion miles of potential, a trillion miles of happiness ahead of her. She is pink and chubby and robust and full of energy and life force. I am so lucky. My arms are full, my hip is heavy with the weight of her, my backseat is alive with giggles and indignant cries, my kitchen is cluttered with bottles, nipples, and baby food jars, my garbage can fills quickly with used diapers, my dryer has onsies and tiny pajamas and miniature ruffled skirts in it, my ears ring with giggles and squeals, my camera is loaded with happy new pictures day after day, my living room is cluttered with toys, strollers, and pacifiers, my life is bustling and full and exhausting and joyful. My daughter is here with me. I can hug and kiss her and snuggle her anytime I want. Why should I be sad? How dare I be sad? I have it all. Just look at this....

My sweet Juli-bean, how much you are changing and growing by the day! You can now wave bye-bye, clap your hands, identify mommy, daddy, the doggies, and the fan! You are eating more and more solid foods. And you're beginning to sprout some hair! You can crawl (well, scoot) backwards only, you can pull to standing and cruise a little bit. You always want to be standing up - I guess you'll skip that old crawling nonsense, huh? I love you, my sweet! More than you can ever know! Here is another picture of you laughing and being just your cute self!

Shy girl behind your toy!

My Gator Girl!

Clapping to Pat-a-cake! Such a big girl!

I love you my little chicken! Here is the song I've been singing to you lately...

"Summertime and the living is easy,
Fish are jumping and the cotton is high.
Your daddy's rich and your ma is good-looking,
So hush, little baby, don't you cry.

One of these mornings you're gonna rise up singing,
Spread your wings and take to the sky.
But until that morning there is nothing can harm you,
With daddy and mommy standing by." ~ Sam Cooke

xoxo,

Mommy

Anniversaries and bumped heads...

Well hello my sweet little chicken. A lot has happened these last few days...

First off let me say that you are growing more and more extraordinarily beautiful and funny every day! You will be 9 months old tomorrow (tomorrow!!) and you are really blooming into your own little person. You still don't crawl (although I'm sure you could if you had a good enough reason), but you LOVE to stand and bounce, stand and bounce. You will reach out for our hands, then pull yourself right up. My strong girl! You also are getting really good at giving us kisses - when I ask for one, you grab my face and then put your (wide open) mouth on my cheek and then you smile like you're sooooo proud. :) My face is left wet with drool, but I love those kisses so much! You're also figuring out that mommy will do a silly dance when you shake your rattle and stop when you stop. That's a fun game that also doubles as a workout for me! You are still eating baby food, and have added some new foods to your repertoire, but still not a fan of textured/solid foods. We are going to see Dr. Grooms tomorrow for your 9 month visit and shots (yuck), and will ask her how to go about getting you to like different textures. Oh, and no teeth yet! I just love your little gummy smile.

This is an outfit knitted for you by the mother of one of my patients. Too cute!

Ok, so Sunday was mine and daddy's 7 year anniversary! It was my year to plan it, and since we are light on cash and didn't want to leave you overnight, I planned a day of going to all the places that were/are special to us. I'm going to make a little mini-scrapbook of the day (that's my plan anyway) which will explain the significance of all the places we went. Our stops included, but aren't limited to: Newberry Elementary and High Schools, Santa Fe College, Baughman Center, Paramount Hotel, and the duck pond (well we didn't actually make it to the duck pond, but we will soon!). It was a fun day; a nice trip down memory lane.

Here we are hanging out at our high school....where it all began. :)

The chapel where we got married.

While we were out for the day, you stayed with Mimi, (and we missed you allllll day!) which brings me to the bumped heads portion of this blog.....

Well, you were sleeping in your pack and play at Mimi's house and Auntie Beth was there too. I guess you woke up, so they rocked you back to sleep and instead of putting you back in the pack and play, Mimi put you on her bed. She knew that you were getting more and more mobile, but she thought you were good and asleep, so she wasn't worried. Well, that was an oops. You woke up and were stirring around, but they didn't hear you, and somehow you inched your way off the bed and landed (thump!) on the floor by Mimi's bed. She rushed in immediately and you were already crying (which, believe it or not, is a good sign). She and Auntie calmed you down and gave you extra extra kisses, and soon enough you were smiling and back to playing like your old self. They checked you over, and you had no bruises or red marks, no cuts or bumps, and you looked just fine.

That night and all the next day, you were in great spirits - playing and bouncing and "talking" and laughing. You came to my doctor's appointment with me and were so good! Everyone loved you, and ooh'd and ah'd over you and your gorgeous blue eyes and sweet shy smile. :)

Sitting in the chair at Dr. Sarantos' office!

Later that day you were sitting on the floor in front of me when I noticed your head didn't look quite right...kind of misshapen. Then I felt the large, squishy lump on the left side of your head! I freaked out because I knew that squishy was not good. First I called Mimi, and she said to call the pediatrician, so I did. They were a bit concerned, so we went ahead and took you in to be checked. The nurse practitioner felt your squishy bump (which you hated!) and said it was likely a hematoma (a collection of blood), but that she wanted you to have an x-ray just to be on the safe side.

Yikes! So now we were all sufficiently freaking out! Your poor Mimi, though...she was (is) so upset and feels so guilty. She was crying and saying she was so sorry, but I told her not to be so hard on herself, that accidents happen and that you would be fine. The doctor and the nurse both reassured us that as long as you were acting normal, and showing no signs of brain trauma, then things would be a-ok. We still went in for the x-ray today though, and that was rough experience. They had to put your poor little self on this hard table and mommy had to hold your arms down (!) while they took 4 or 5 pictures of your head. Once they were done, I scooped you up and daddy and I laid about 1,000 kisses on you, and you quickly cheered right up.

Dr. Grooms called us about an hour later to tell us that your x-ray was "interesting". She said the swelling is right over what could be either a suture line or a small fracture. They really can't tell at this point, and she said to just let you go on with your normal activities but to be super careful. We have to get another x-ray in 2 weeks to see if there is any change. She said if it's just a suture line, then it will look the same. If it is a fracture, we will see signs of new bone growth. So, my little girl, you may have already had your first (and only, I hope!) broken bone. :( I'm so sorry you have to go through all this (and Mimi is the sorriest of all - she loves you so!) but I take solace in the fact that you won't remember one bit of it!

Here you are hanging out with daddy today.

According to the clock on the computer, you are now officially 9 months old!!!! What a milestone! I am already starting to plan your first birthday party in my mind - it's gonna be epic! :)

Happy 9 month birthday, honey! I love you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!

Love,

Mommy

Here are a few pictures of you playing with that "other" super cute baby!

Fireworks, gallbladders, and nostalgia...

Hi my gorgeous daughter, it's been way too long since I blogged. A lot has happened in the last month...

You had your first 4th of July! We had two cookouts at Grandma's house, one on the 3rd with Kevin, Maryann, Ivy and Ian, and one on the 4th with Mimi, Grandaddy, Auntie Beth and Uncle JJ. You and Ian played in the pool for a little while and had a lot of fun - although you don't really know what to make of each other yet. Daddy and Uncle J set off fireworks in the driveway, but you fell asleep in my arms! It was past your bedtime and you had had an exciting day. You know I never mind when you fall asleep in my arms - I never will.

The next day I had to have surgery to have my gallbladder removed. I didn't have to stay in the hospital (thank goodness! I told Dr. Sarantos that I was not about to spend a night away from you!) and was home by lunchtime. I was pretty sore, but the worst part was that I wasn't allowed to pick you up for 10 days! As you can guess, I cheated. Haha! You are just too irresistible. I didn't cheat too much though because you are getting to be such a big girl!


You turned 8 months old this month. I can't believe how big you are getting and how fast time is flying by. You are rolling around everywhere, sitting up so good by yourself, pulling to your knees in the crib (and once to your feet!). You can wave bye-bye, and sometimes when we ask "where's mommy/daddy?" you know who to look at! You love to laugh and smile, and get very bashful with strangers, especially boys. You are eating a lot of different baby foods now - your favorites are pears, apple cinnamon oatmeal, and green beans. We tried giving you the little puffs, but you spit it out and gag. Guess you aren't ready for textured food yet, but we are going to keep trying! You and I have a little game we play - when you are chewing on something (a toy, pacifier, whatever) I'll say "can I have some?" and open my mouth, and you'll smile and hold it out for me to "eat". Then I'll "eat" it and you'll take it back really fast and smile when I tell you thank you! You are already a generous girl! :)

Oh yeah, and you LOVE to swing!!! You laughed and laughed...best sound ever!

I was on YouTube tonight looking for a video to put on Facebook, and I started looking up all these old songs from when I was in high school and college. Definitely sent me down memory lane. Some of the memories are sadder than others, but now, almost 20 years later, the music is just comforting and makes me nostalgic. It's like, I remember the sad times when I hear certain songs, but I don't actually feel sad. Mostly, however, the memories are good and happy ones! High school with daddy, my friends Shannon, Patience, and Kristen, then later on, college at Santa Fe with pretty much the same people. :) And then there's the time I lived up in Buffalo - some bittersweet memories there, but experiences that shaped me into the person I am. Music has surrounded me, guided me, comforted me, driven me, inspired me throughout my life. If you love music the way daddy and I do, then each chapter of your life will have certain specific soundtracks, and when you hear those songs again years later, you can relive your memories in a very emotional and encompassing way. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I have a feeling you will understand. :)

I love you so much, my daughter, and I don't even really know who you are going to be yet. Somehow, though, I just know that we're going to have an amazing bond and be "kindred spirits" (to quote Anne of Green Gables).


I already know that you have a sweet and giving spirit, that you know what love is, and that you have the spark of curiosity. I see so much joy and potential in you, so much life!

Sorry if this was a ramble-y post; I need to post more regularly because I know there is a bunch of stuff I've been meaning to write about but just can't think of right now... Oh well, what I can tell you is that with every passing second of every minute of every hour of every day, you win my heart over again and again.

xoxo,

Mommy

P.S. Here's what I've been singing to you lately...

"For you there'll be no crying
For you the sun will be shining
Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right.

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before.

To you, I would give the world
To you, I'd never be cold
Cause I feel that when I'm with you
It's alright, I know it's right.

And the songbirds keep singing
Like they know the score
And I love you, I love you, I love you
Like never before,
Like never before; like never before."

- by Fleetwood Mac, covered by Eva Cassidy (my favorite version)

Father's Day and backaches....

Hi my sweet little pumpy-umpy-umpkin! Right now, I am sitting at home and you are at Mimi's house - it feels so weird to be here at home without you! I miss you like crazy, and I just texted Mimi to see how you're doing. She (and Grandma and Auntie Beth) know how much I miss you when we have to be apart, so they always send me pictures of you throughout the day. I really look forward to those texts. So, I'm home from work today because somehow I hurt my back yesterday and I can hardly move without it hurting really bad. I don't know how I hurt myself, but boy did I do a good job of it. The only thing I can possibly think of is that short little walk I took with you in your Bjorn. You LOVE going out in it, so we walked for about 15 minutes or so until Daddy came home, and by the time I took you out, my back was cramping up. You're such a big girl now!! Mommy needs to go to the gym more often and work on her abs! :)

**Mimi just sent me a picture of you in your high chair holding your spoon and the message said "Getting ready to rat peas!" Haha!! And you look sooooo cute. (as usual)

So this weekend was Father's Day, and it was a great one! It was a busy weekend - first we went down to Orlando for cousin Shea's first birthday party! You were so good in the car both down and back - you slept pretty much the whole time (which is sort of a miracle, since lately you and your carseat are not really friends). There were lots of kids and babies there at the party - Shea, Molly (8 months) and Levi (3 years) who are Shea's cousins, Eden (almost 2) and Avery (3 years) who are Aunt Katie's friend Megan's kids (plus Megan had a little baby boy in her belly), and of course, YOU! It was loud and rowdy, but so much fun. You and Shea played some, but it was harder for you since you aren't crawling yet, and Shea was all over the place! Mostly you sat on the floor and played or sat in my lap (which is fine with me 'cause I just snuggled and loved on you). Oh, and it was so cute, Daddy and Avery hit it off and talked a lot - she really liked him. She wanted to know if you still wore diapers (haha!) and told us that she wore panties because she was a big girl. I am very curious about how potty training is going to go with you....hmmm, it will be an adventure I am sure.

So that was Saturday, then on Sunday, we got up really early and went to the football stadium (the Swamp) and went up and down the corkscrew ramp 5 times. It was already so hot, and by the end you were pretty grumpy (and mommy was TIRED!) Then we went to Cracker Barrel to meet Grandma and Grandpa for breakfast. Yum! Once we got home, you and Daddy went to take naps, and I went out to run a few errands (pick up the cookie cake, get a couple of last minute gifts). Then you and Daddy went to Sonny's together for lunch so I could wrap the presents - had to get him out of the house for the big surprise! After lunch, we went out to Mimi's for a little bit because Shea, Aunt Katie and Uncle Billy had stopped by on their way back home. Already it had been a very busy day, and we still hadn't done the best part -- presents!!

We went to Carraba's for dinner with the family - it was delicious! - and then back to our house for dessert and gifts. You and I tricked daddy, we made him think he was getting a bicycle, but instead we got him an iPad!!!!!!!! Everyone chipped in on it - Mimi and Grandaddy, Grandma, Aunt Beth and Uncle JJ. He was SO surprised, and super excited. I told him that since this was his first Father's Day and because he is such an amazing dad, he really deserved something extravagant. He said the best part of the day, however, was knowing he had such a beautiful, sweet baby daughter to love. Happy Father's Day to Daddy, you and I are two lucky girls!

We love you more than words can say, my little Juli-bean. I keep thinking if I blog about how much I love you, or tell you how much I love you, or sing to you about how much I love you enough, I can even begin to scratch the surface....but what you mean to me is too big for words. I hope you feel how loved you are, my sweet girl, every single minute of every single day.

So here is the silly song that I referenced at the beginning of this post....it's been stuck in my head all week, but you seem to like it, so I will keep on singing it to you:

"You're my honey bunch, sugar plum,
Pumpy-umpy-umpkin,
You're my sweetie pie.
You're my cuppy cake, gum drop,
Snoogems, boogems, you're
the apple of my eye.
And I love you so,
And I want you to know,
That I'll always be right here.
And I love to sing sweet songs to you,
because you are so dear!!"

xoxo,

Mommy

Beach fun and nighttime freakouts...

Well, lots of things have been going on since I last wrote. You've been eating a variety of foods lately - pears, apples, squash, carrots, sweet potatoes, cereal. So far, you seem to really love the cereal with fruit in it and the sweet potatoes. Next up is going to be peaches! It's hard to find organic baby food in all the different varieties - we are going to shield you from pesticides for as long as it's reasonably possible. I know eventually we will have to slack off on that, but for now, we are doing our best to keep you in a safe little bubble. :)

You've been a little grumpy the last few days, and you have been waking more and more at night. Could you finally be getting some teeth? I haven't seen any, but you really hate letting me look, so who knows? You seem to just want to be held and cuddled all the time, which mommy is happy to oblige. Oh yeah, and you are just now starting to reach out for people you know! I love this!! It makes me feel so good to see you actively want me to hold you. You can reach out for me anytime, for as long as I live I will be there to take you in my arms.

It's been a while since I wrote -- we spent Memorial Day weekend at the beach for our annual Shuman girls getaway! Me, you, Mimi, and Aunt Beth went to Daytona (as usual) for 4 days and had a great time! Daddy came and spent Saturday night and Sunday too though, because he just couldn't be away from you that long. I don't blame him at all! We had fun on the beach and in the pool, and you got so worn out by all the fun that you slept a lot more than normal. You hate having sunscreen put on you, and you didn't much like the bright, blinding sun, so there were some crabby moments. Overall though, I think you loved it. Your favorite time of day was around 5 or so when the sun was behind the hotel and the pool was shaded - you laughed and laughed at everybody ducking under the water and popping up. Your laugh is the best sound ever!

Oh and one other thing: apparently you rolled from your back to your stomach at the hotel. Mimi saw you do it, but I missed it because I was playing Angry Birds! We tried and tried to get you to do it again, but you were happy to stay put on your back and side. Darn Angry Birds...

I was starting to get a little more relaxed about you here lately, but the most upsetting thing happened a couple of weeks ago that has put my neurotic self back into overdrive...
We bought the Snuza movement monitor for you to wear at night. It just clips on to your diaper and if it doesn't detect movement (breathing) in 15 seconds it buzzes you, and then if 5 more seconds go by, the alarm goes off. Well, the alarm went off one night when daddy was working in the office, and I was downstairs. The TV was loud so I didn't hear the alarm on the baby monitor next to me, and daddy couldn't hear it in the office. When we finally did hear it, we didn't know how long it had been going off and we panicked!!! Daddy grabbed you out of your crib and you were limp and not waking up even thought that alarm was so loud. I flew up the stairs at warp speed to see daddy trying to jostle you awake. Never in my life had I felt such sheer raw terror. I grabbed you from him and saw that your eyes were slitted open and that you were slowly starting to wake up. We put you on the floor and took off your pajamas and rubbed your chest and tummy until you finally started to cry. Then you really got upset because I think we freaked you out with our freaking out! I held you to me to calm you down and within seconds you were smiling at daddy and "talking" to us, healthy as could be and not fazed one bit. Our best guess is that the monitor just slipped off your diaper since you've taken to sleeping on your side and it was just not making contact. What worried us was why you didn't wake up when that terrible alarm was going off. Everyone, including Dr. Grooms, assured me that babies can sleep very deeply and not be easily awakened. I am so glad we have the Snuza, even if it does have false alarms. Like I told daddy, we would rather have a false alarm and you be okay, than no alarm when we really need one. I cannot begin to fathom what I would do if something happened to you. Every fear or worry I've ever had in my whole life seems so dwarfed by the fears and worries I have when it comes to you. Remember that when you are older and mommy seems like a major worrywart who holds you a little too tight. I just love you more than anything and can't imagine a world without you in it.

This blog is turning out to be much longer than I intended. Some other really exciting things happened this past weekend, but that will have to a post for another time...

I have to go and use the breast pump now. You have been sort of weaning yourself from me, and I'm trying hard to make sure you still get some breast milk every day. You are almost 7 months old and haven't had so much as the sniffles yet, and I want to keep it that way. Goodnight my precious baby girl, and mommy will see you bright and (very) early tomorrow morning!

xoxo,
Mommy

Random thoughts...

So there are a thousand other things that I should be doing, but I really just feel like writing to you, my sweet baby. You are upstairs sleeping in your crib, and daddy's sleeping in the recliner in there too. We have your music playing in the nursery- lullaby renditions of current pop music - and I am listening to it right along with you on the monitor downstairs. You have been a back sleeper since your were born; mommy and daddy made sure of that since we were/are so scared of SIDS. However, the last couple of nights we've noticed you've been rolling to your side in your sleep. Guess you'll be a side sleeper like me. :) As soon as we realized this, I took out your pretty crib bumpers that Shannon gave us and put in the plain old white mesh ones. Safety first! You look so cute sleeping on your side, like you're changing from a little baby to a little person. These observations may sound silly, but as you've probably figured out by now, pretty much everything you do fascinates us....so get used to it. :)

I am ashamed to admit that I finally finished my baby shower thank you notes the other day. The shower was back in August! All of my friends and family were so generous and thoughtful, and here I had only sent out about half the notes. I felt so bad, and they had been weighing on my mind for months now, so I just gave you to daddy to watch for a few hours and I got them DONE. I feel a lot better now. I hope that I can teach good manners and etiquette to you like it was taught to me. Mimi always made sure I wrote thank you notes for gifts and stuff when I was a kid, and I'm glad she did. Good manners will take you far in life - you might be surprised at how much just the smallest kindnesses and considerations mean to other people.

I want you to go far in life, to be a social, likable person. I already know that you will, because you already are! You smile so easily and at everyone! I was just watching this movie called "Easy A" with Emma Stone in it - it's a strange, silly little movie - and her character is so funny and smart and quirky. She kind of resembles the way I imagine you might be one day. Me and daddy love to imagine your life and your personality, what your voice will sound like, what you'll end up looking like once you have hair. Haha! I love your sweet little peach fuzz though...! I just know you will be the kind of girl that everyone will want to be around. I bet you'll have as many friends as you want, and that you'll sincerely and deeply care about them. I predict that you'll be a generous person - the kind that will do anything for the ones you love. And maybe I'm a little bit biased because I love you so much, but I just feel it in my soul when I look at you, into your eyes, that you are a beautiful human being on the inside as well as out.

This is probably turning out to be a weird post. I didn't really have a direction when I started typing, I just wanted to talk to you, and the future you. Sometimes it's all I can do not to go and scoop you up out of that crib and either just cuddle with you or wake you up to play. :) You are a very addictive creature, my little Juliette Rain.

Speaking of rain, it has rained a LOT today. I love love love days like these. You took a nap today in my arms while I lay in the recliner in your room - the windows open, cool wind flowing in, listening to the walls of rain hit the buildings and street in waves. It felt like heaven to me. Rainstorms put me into a kind of mood that is hard explain. Nostalgic, peaceful, safe, relaxed, happy - I believe it all stems from my own memories of being rocked in my mother's arms on our screened-in porch with the rain pounding outside on the leaves, on the tin roof. In those early memories I am safe, warm, and loved, and I have formed an extremely sound bond between that feeling and rainy weather. This is why your middle name is Rain. Rain reminds me of a time when life was easy and pure, when I had absolutely nothing to worry about, when my parents were my great protectors and sheltered me from the world, when all I knew of life were the beautiful, happy parts. Now I want to give all that to you, my baby, for as long as I can. You will always have my unconditional love, and daddy's too, no matter what. That you can count on, I promise.

I think I'd better head on to bed. I have a lot to do tomorrow - computer stuff for work, cleaning, playing with and loving on you (the most important!). Plus we are going to go shopping with Auntie Beth and Mimi! And if the weather cooperates, we might go swimming with Aiden and his mommy Chandra! Sleep tight sweetheart, and I'll see you in the morning.

xoxo,
Mommy

6 months old!

Happy half birthday, my sweet Juliette! It's after midnight, so technically it was yesterday, but mommy's a night owl and her day rarely ends before 1:00 am. So technicalities aside, happy 6 months!

You are such a big girl now, I really just can't believe it. You have changed so much since the first day we met you. Although you were a "big" baby, you were so very tiny in my arms. You could curl up with your little legs pulled up under you and fit perfectly on my chest. In the beginning, that was the only place you would sleep - on mine or daddy's chest. Those were some of my favorite early moments with you...

Now, you are still a little baby, but so much bigger! You've pretty much grown out of your bassinet (I think you actually grew out of it a long time ago, but mommy was in denial about it because she wanted you to stay in it and keep sleeping right next to her). I've had to pack away your newborn clothes, then your 0-3 month, and now you're too big for almost all of your 3-6 month stuff...sigh. But don't worry, we have TONS of super cute stuff for you in bigger sizes! :)

I wanted to make a list of all the things you can do. I'm sure I will forget some, so I may have to come back and edit this post to add them. Here goes...

You can smile (gorgeous!)
You can laugh (musical!)
You like being tickled (especially by daddy)
You can babble, mainly "ma ma ma ma" (score!)
You can blow rasperries
You can lay on your tummy and hold your head and chest up
You reach for things and put EVERYthing into your mouth
You can hold toys, and switch them back and forth between hands
You can roll from tummy to back
You can sit unsupported for a couple seconds (you are still wobbly)
You can sit with your hands on the ground in front of you for a long time
You can hold your own bottle
You can take your pacifier out and put it back in
You know the difference between bottle and pacifier just by looking at them
You can squeal and squeak (I have the cutest video of it)
You LOVE music, and like to hear Itsy Bitsy Spider, Little Teapot, Frere Jacques, and Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson (random, I know, but you love it!)
You've just started to eat oatmeal, but the verdict is still out on that one :)
You can jump like crazy in your jumparoo
You like to bang your toys/pacifier/hands on any surface you can
You have just recently become fascinated with looking at your hands and fingers
You always try to go for mommy's phone and the remote control
You love bearing weight on your legs, and you love kicking!
You finally like baths and splash mommy and daddy soaking wet!
Your eyes are still blue (like daddy's)
Your smile and laugh can cheer us up and fill us with overwhelming love for you in an instant.
You bring nothing but pure joy to all of us who love you!

Happy half birthday, my love.

xoxo,
Mommy

Three Days of Firsts

My sweet girl, how time gets away from me! I want to journal on a really regular basis, to chronicle your growth, your life, and my thoughts on all that is you. Yet here I am, over 2 weeks since my last post. Life gets busy when you're old. How I miss those days of childhood when every day, every week seemed like an eternity...I know you'll wish to grow up fast, but trust me when I say it will be too fast.

So anyway, three days of firsts --

Saturday, May 7th: Your first trip to the beach! You, me, and Daddy went to St. Augustine for a day and a night. Your Aunt Beth and her friend Kim were there too. We had fun even though you were tired and cranky for most of the day. You stayed awake the whole way there and never really got even one nap that day (you do best when you take 2!), so by the time we got your bathing suit on (I love that suit! It was $20 from Baby Gap, but too cute and so worth it!), got our suits on, got everyone lathered up with sunscreen (you, my love, have inherited mommy and daddy's ghostly skin), got all the "stuff" loaded up, walked down to the beach and set everything up, you were pretty much over it and ready for a nap.

We were bad parents and kept you up to show you the ocean, but all you really wanted to look at was our shadows on the ground. Then you sat on my lap in a slue for a while and splashed a little. Daddy stood you up where the ocean meets the shore and let the waves wash over your tiny little feet. Your feet sank in to the sand and you just stared and stared. I love to imagine how many, many more times you'll get to enjoy the beauty of the beach in your lifetime. You are a Florida girl from a long line of beach lovers - especially your Mimi! - so I suspect you will one day love it too. After a couple minutes of the waves, we went back to our little tent where you promptly fell asleep. While you slept, I went and carved your name into the sand and took a picture of it. It came out good, and Aunt Beth suggested that I frame it, so I will.

After you woke up, we went up to the pool where you perked up a bit. In your excitement you got a mouth full of chlorine water which you DEFINITELY did not like! But then Daddy cheered you up by swimming under the water and popping up right in front of you - you laughed so hard every time! We had a fun time and I can't wait to go again. Bonus? No one got a sunburn!! :)

Sunday, May 8th: my first Mother's Day! The whole family made this day so special, especially you. I spent a lot of time just holding and hugging you, feeling so blessed to have you in my arms, safe and healthy and beautiful and happy. Last year, you were with me, but in such a different way. You were still growing in my belly and I didn't even know that you were a girl yet!

I had been a little stressed out from the weekend away - you and I didn't sleep too well at the hotel, and things were rushed once we got back home. However, once we got to dinner with the family, I was able to relax and just enjoy the day. Daddy, Mimi, Grandad, Aunt Beth, and Uncle JJ all pitched in and bought me a lovely rocking chair. It is a lot like Mimi's, which she bought when I was a baby. She rocks YOU in it now, so it's been around a loooooong time! Haha!
Daddy also bought me a spa package to go get some massages and relax, he's a very wonderful husband, and knows just exactly what mommy needs! Aunt Beth and Grandma gave me some cute picture frames already filled with precious photos of - guess who? :) It was a memorable day, and I look forward to many, many more.

Monday, May 9th: your first real food! Some people give their babies food earlier than 6 months, but as you will quickly find out, Mommy and Daddy are very "by the book" when it comes to that kind of stuff and we waited until Dr. Grooms gave us the green light. We bought you some baby organic oatmeal and mixed it with some formula. You were very excited to try it, and seemed to like it at first. Then you started making all kinds of hilarious faces and spitting it out in spitty bubbles! Oh yes, and we have pictures and a video! We are going to try the cereal for a few more days and then we'll move you on to something more exciting.....sweet potatoes!

By the time you are able to read this, you will probably find it very hard to believe that for the first 6 months of your life, you lived on milk/formula alone. It is weird to think that that's enough for you, but it has been. You are growing and changing like crazy! You had your 6 month check up on Wednesday (5/4), you weighed 15 lbs and 13 oz, were 25.5 inches long. Your head measures in the 75 percentile which is great because it means you are brilliant! :)

Tomorrow, my daughter, you will be a whole 6 months old. It baffles me how quickly this half a year has flown by. I was looking at pregnancy pictures of myself earlier today, and it feels like just yesterday that I was walking out the door to go to the hospital - scared, excited, nervous, elated, and just SO ready to meet you! And here you are, my perfect child, my heart, my reason for being. I love you Juliette!!!

Tomorrow I am going to make a blog listing out all the things you can do now.... Happy half birthday, love!

xoxo,
Mommy

My man

I am thankful tonight for my husband. Well, I'm thankful all the time of course, but a song lyric caught my attention today that reminded me just how fortunate I am to have him. He was pretty much as doting as a husband could be while I was pregnant. Rubbing my feet, eating wherever I wanted, letting me go all out on the nursery (which meant he and Justin installing a chair rail, and buying a different shade of yellow paint when the first one wasn't quite right). He listened to me moan about headaches, numb hands, and bad skin. He didn't judge when I bought a Doppler and listened to the baby's heartbeat several times a day for constant reassurance that she was okay.

He and I came up with nicknames for her, speculated on her hair color and eye color, imagined what she would love (music?), be good at (soccer?), be not so good at (nothing!), who she would date (Jer didnt like that topic), what she'd choose for her life. He went to the birthing classes with me, as well as the breastfeeding class, which were always late in the evening and, for the most part, boring as hell. He felt my belly, videoed her acrobatics, went to every single OB appointment with me - he loved her as much as I did from the moment the second line appeared and i knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for me or for her.

Then when the big day finally came, he was as excited, elated, and amazed as a new daddy could be. I could see how deeply and wholly he was changed when she let out her first cry. She was ours and he was hers, no doubt about it. Although I wasn't there, the pictures of him in the nursery are of a man truly in love and proud beyond measure. The first day I really couldn't do much, so he changed the first diapers, gave the first bath, and mastered the art of the swaddle. He was a natural! I always knew he was meant to be a dad, but I had no idea how easily and effortlessly he would slide into that role.

So then once home, he continued to be there. There for Juliette and there for me. Especially me. I had a very rough first couple of weeks. Call it baby blues, call it exhaustion, call it hormones, or call it simply being overwhelmed. I was weepy, worried, stressed. I would have sobbing fits out of nowhere and he always seemed to know just what to say to comfort me. I was blissfully happy and loved our new daughter more than life - and I guess I was having difficulty processing all those huge emotions. Now that extreme roller coaster has leveled out for the most part, but I still have my freakout moments, my hard days. I worry incessantly about her, and sometimes it's more than I can take. I can get so caught up in my fears, and he has to reel me back in and untangle me from my own self destructive thoughts. He reminds me to simply love her, enjoy her, and just live in the moment - to be happy!

Jeremy understands me in a unique way. I've loved him for over 20 years and would be absolutely lost without him. Thank you, Jeremy, for taking such good care of us. Juliette and I are so lucky. <3

"I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown.

I was a heavy heart to carry
But he never let me down
When he had me in his arms
My feet never touched the ground."

xoxo,
Jenne